Ed Note: After a conversation with my sister today, I wanted to revisit this post. And clarify that it is an on-going challenge. But one that makes me happier each and every day I practice just being honest.
Like most women, I spend waaaayyyy too much time worrying about what everyone thinks about me and not enough time focused on myself and taking care of the people who are closest to me.
I was trying to explain this issue without getting all Oprah about it and my Pop said, “you know, the world would be a better place if everyone was just HONEST.”
He continued with examples, “No, I can’t meet you tonight, I have something else I must take care of…No, I don’t think you should be in that relationship…Yes, you look fat in those pants.”
My Pop, like most men, is very straightforward.
And, like most men, doesn’t understand why us women are all stumbling around looking for affirmation, when in reality, we should know we are pretty damn great.
And finally, he is mystified why we give a crap what anyone thinks, especially when we have already been accepted by an amazing group of family and friends.
He has a point. The caretaker/mothering instincts can’t and shouldn’t be killed – but being honest is definitely a part of protecting that.
Saying “no” or “I can’t” or “since you asked, (insert honest response here),” means that we feel strong enough to be honest with ourselves and with you. If our response offends you, think about why…just don’t judge us for being honest…oh wait…we don’t care…right? Oh brother…this is going to be hard!
I know this resolution is going to take some practice! But I know the payoff will be worth it. I know we would all be happier if we were just honest about what we want in life and honest about how we get it. I have been practicing this for all of 2012 and while some of the results haven’t been pretty…they have been, if nothing else, honest.
more on my resolutions here. and you can always find continuing updates and encouragement by subscribing to updates from me at james dry goods.
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